Experimental HUMLOOM at the drawing table

Competition for the scarce Craft Attention Spectrum (CrASp) is increasing, driven by a growing military and civilian demand for weaponized craft devices in times of global insecurity and crisis. As the spectrum becomes more congested, with more hand-crafted goods at the markets, the US and our allies will need better tools for managing the craft environment and for avoiding interference from other applied arts while competing at the global soft arms market. In the interest of global stability, there is an urgent need to innovate and securitize more of the crafts to protect the peace and lives of US citizens.

Over the last months, CARPA has funded a series of new advances into the development of soft weaponized crafts, recruiting exceptional artisans for high security development. This strategic move represents a major step forward and will help ensure the uninterrupted operation of US soft spectrum-dependent military capabilities. With the development of new securitized crafts and tools, CARPA will advance US interests into contested craft environments. Through CARPA’s ongoing partnership with various crafts institutions, as well as local artisans and manufacturers, new systems will be developed to better operate in the congested indy-craft spectrum.

Barry Clayassault, an organizer in the Pacific Northwest, has praised the new advance into securitizing crafts. “Craft is a verb, which combined with innovative techniques of soft domination and advanced fabrication will help us create world-class craft domination,” Clayassault said. “And we are already seeing exciting results within social practice, relational aesthetics and ‘alter-modern’ operations that closely match the developments in psy-ops, cyberwar and counterinsurgency. To use a craft expression; We’re gonna hammer em’”

Understanding hipsters and nerdy crafters is essential for effective situational awareness in Military Crafts Operations (MiCrOps), and particularly in efforts that require close coordination with local communities, especially those hostile to new competing knitters, foodies and whittlers. CARPA officers on the ground frequently encounters languages and expressions they cannot comprehend and thus face extreme challenges in their operational theaters. However, with the new CARPA Craft Layman Language Learning System (CraLaLaLa) program, change is on its way to support emergent missions.

“The diversity of hipster crafts and their local dialects makes it virtually impossible to ensure that U.S. military personnel will be able to understand the situation on the ground when they go into new craft environments,” said Christian Cool, a CARPA program manager. “Through CraLaLaLa, we envision a system that could quickly pick out key information to provide immediate, evolving situational awareness in dynamic, difficult situations. This means not only understanding weird writing on over-pretentious Etsy shops, but especially those involving insecure devo teenagers chillaxing, armed with yarn and crochet needles, or pots and pans. Totes awks.”

Tactical Axe-Banjo

CARPA and Deering, the epitome of US hand-made banjos, recently signed a Memorandum of Agreement (MOA) on a joint CARPA/Deering research and development program called “HEHAW-2” on the future of Warfare Banjos (often called WaBs). This joint effort builds upon the existing work of CARPA’s Haptic Emergence Hipster Exploitation Warfare program, which has been exploring long-endurance engagement with esoteric Appalachian folk music. After Deering’s success with the Goodtime Zombie Killer Banjo, enormously popular amongst lumberjack-esque crafters with excessive facial hair, HEHAW-2 opens new frontiers to craft warfare. Let’s hear that Foggy Mountain!

When planning your trip to the Camp CARPA Recruitment Fair, remember to consult the official CARPA survival guide for lists of things to bring with you and tips for dealing with the desert environment such as:

Psychology of Survival

Basic Survival Medicine

Building a Shelter

Water Procurement

Firecraft

Field-Expedient Weapons

Click here to download the PDF: CARPA Survival guide

Director Von Busch, Frau Fiber, and Director Clugage lead the morning briefing

Camp CARPA begins today at Forward Operating Base (FOB) Shangri La. Please consult this schedule to determine the optimum time for your visit.

700-900 hours  Breakfast

900-1000 hours  Morning Briefs

1000-1300 hours Individual Mission Deployments

1300-1400 hours Lunch

1400-1500 hours Directors-issued Challenge

1500-1700 hours Individual Mission Deployments

1700-1800 hours Cocktail Hour at the Officer’s Club

1800-1900 hours Dinner

1900-2000 hours Evening Briefs

2000-on Evening Entertainment

Sun Tzu’s classic “The Craft of War” is now out in a new translation on Tuttle publishing, sponsored by the CARPA Warcraft Literacy Team (WarLiT). The book is an ancient Chinese treatise by Sun Tzu, a high-ranking military general and artisan, strategist and tactician. The text is composed of 11 chapters, each of which is devoted to one aspect of warcraft. It is commonly known to be the definitive work on military and artisan strategy and tactics of its time and still is today. Its influence on Eastern and Western military thinking cannot be underestimated, as well as within other fields, such as business tactics, legal strategy and contemporary art. Today, the book has even increased relevance with craft practices emerging at the intersection of humanitarian craft projects, socially engaged arts and other soft operations within the arenas of US armed conflict.

This serves as the official announcement that the dates for Camp CARPA’s 2013 installment have been changed. Camp CARPA will take place October 16-19 at the Shangri-La research and training facility in Joshua Tree, CA. As a contractor to U.S. Government Agencies, some of CARPA’s research will be presented to the public under the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) after the information has been scanned through CARPA’s Public Release Center (PRC). As of orders from the Department of Defence (DoD):

“”DoD Instruction 5230.9 mandates a security and policy review of all official DoD information intended for public release that pertains to military matters, national security issues, or subjects of significant concern to the DoD. All DoD unclassified information (such as papers, presentations, videos, images, press releases, etc.) must be reviewed before it is released to the public.”

The Office of the Secretary of Defense’s Office of Freedom of Information is responsible for all CARPA FOIA requests. Due to the current conflict with unregulated and unconfirmed “leaks”, as of orders from the DoD, CARPA will limit its public presentations of research to October 18-19.

Please return to this site for more updates on how CARPA protects the values of the Free West, the US and our allies.

Written requests concerning CARPA information should be sent to: Office of Freedom of Information, 1155 Defense Pentagon, Washington, D.C., 20301-1155. Their phone number is (703) 696-4689.